A Truly Revelatory Q&A with Boris & Sergey
It's not often that we get a glimpse into the lives, minds and sordid living conditions of a duo such as Balkan Bad Boys, Boris & Sergey. When we do, we feel it is our duty to reveal their secrets to you in a candid Q&A. You may feel the need to wash your hands after reading this.
How long have you been brothers and does it help or hinder your working relationship?
Sergey: We have been brothers all of our lives, though it certainly feels like much longer. I'm clearly being punished for something I did in a past life. In terms of our working relationship, I tend to be the help whereas Boris has the hindrance covered.
Boris: (proudly) Sergey says I'm the biggest hindrance in his life.
What’s your secret for keeping your skin so smooth and lustrous? Dubbin? Lard? Lenor?
Sergey: I take my skin care and personal hygiene very seriously, it's particularly important with all the disease and pestilence that Boris brings into our dwelling. My day typically starts with a bath in two litres of mountain spring water, followed by a hearty thrashing with Sicilian olive branches, performed by twelve stout men of honest character. At night I have myself vacuum packed to maintain my freshness.
Boris: Whereas I experiment with hot and cold, Sergey scolds me with boiling water, and makes me sleep outside at night. Which gives my skin it's natural onion-skin texture. The doctors say if I keep it up I won't see my next birthday, but Sergey doesn't let me have birthdays so I'm not too concerned.
Any tips for the gentlemen on how to succeed with the ladies?
Boris: A judge has ruled that I am no longer allowed to talk about, or be in the vicinity of anything female. I'll have to pay a heavy fine for answering this question.
Woken up with anyone interesting lately?
Boris: Mr Bumbles. I wake up next to him a lot.
Sergey: Who is Mr Bumbles? Some ridiculous cuddly toy that you need for security?
Boris: No, he's some guy who watches me sleep.
Who is your favourite puppeteer?
Sergey: Like any good parent we treat them with equal disdain, they are all expendable.
What's the worst thing you ever smelled?
Both: Fear.
It seems that Boris has been suffering for his art in rehearsals this week. Shame.
You can witness this kind of spectacle and worse, much worse, in Boris & Sergey's Astonishing Freakatorium 9-13 May.